Rokai City, bad game

Crime boss: Rokai Citya game announced last year With a trailer that sounded like the world’s worst April Fool’s joke (it was in december), he came out! You may not know this, though, because no one He talks about it.

If the game is good, people will talk about it. If the game is bad, people will talk about it too. If the game is bad in ways that also make it fun, it gets talked about, and if the game is bad in incredibly funny ways, it gets talked about again. Maybe a 1,000-word impression piece Kotaku.comIt might be a group of tweets. Maybe it’s a video series about baffling bugs and accidentsthese are all ways you — or anyone, anyone — can talk about a video game.

This is important, because talking about a video game is the only way, as a culture, to keep the game alive. I don’t want to get too Inside on this post – which doesn’t have its own bandwidth – but the disks on the shelves are just clumps of plastic, and the markup on an HDD is only 1’s and 0’s. it’s us suffer them, building memories/opinions on them and then sharing them with other people, making video games what they are. What is it all of thisWhat I write, what you read, and the communities you form and are a part of, if not just one big way for us to share our thoughts on video games?

Anyway, what I’m getting at here is that there is space and room to talk about almost every video game on the planet, love it or hate it. excludes Crime boss: Rokai City. Nobody talks about it (except me, here, in great distress), though he’s been out for nearly a month now. And now I know why.

You have “played” this, as far as you can bring yourself to sit down and experience this game. And I found myself unable to review it, or even give my impressions of it, in my standard “hey check this out” fashion. I was so shocked by its packaging, so horrified at how it gets everything it sets to wrong, I feel like I should write this and post it on the site just so someone else can reassure me that any of this actually happened.

Rockay City It is a dream of fever. It’s the outline of a video game, colored with tortured ghosts from the ’80s and ’90s. It’s like a sneaky blockchain game powerpoint presentation, only with sections containing actual gameplay. Here’s the game’s launch trailer — it’s out, you can buy it, and even play it — to show I’m not into any of this:

Michael Madsen has carried the burdens of 1,000 lives into the recording studio for this, and none of them have performed so well. Serial asshole Chuck Norris is so lifeless that even an ’80s text-to-speech system could have done a better job of delivering his lines. For this reason, clients Kim Basinger and Danny Glover must be launched into the sun. And Vanilla Ice… well the Vanilla Ice is really great here, I don’t have anything bad to say about Vanilla Ice.

There is writing Rockay City In the most qualified sense, as there are words in the English language that come after other words, but whether these sentences are complete and coherent is up for debate. There’s also a plot, in the same way as the main art and promotional tweet for Grand Theft Auto Online The mission has a plot.

There is no vision here beyond “Here are a few that might sound cool to the guys who were also involved in the Johnny Depp trial and whose favorite movie was Resorvoir dogs And ScarfaceThere’s no context or coherence either, though visually everything has the same generic crime game sheen you’d expect from a clone of GTA Clone on Xbox 360. Have a look Rockay City is to vibrate around the inside of Shipping container full of Ed Hardy jeans and Steven Seagal movies.

What is it actually like to play? See above. You sneak around a bit, shoot some guys – who are often just innocent people, who attack a lot of bullets – then you shoot more, because Rockay City He never knows when to turn the volume down. It’s a “Level 99 Crime Boss” mobile game with the violent aspirations (or lack of a moral compass) of a late-90s PC shooter.

Rockay City I spent real money on it, and I was paid for a real Hollywood engagement. It was a criminal game, it had weapons in it, and enough marketing money was spent that somehow it came out in Kotaku.com Another announcementit should have meant something to Somebody. However, we have, in our collective estimation, rejected this game wholesale. The game doesn’t just suck, even an idea suck it up It is a disaster on a conceptual level. Nobody talks about it, nobody plays it; The game is only available on PC, but not on Steam, and the official subreddit has… 242 members.

I can not say Rockay City good. I can’t say it’s bad other than in the ways you’ve already described it (Although this is its Metacritic page if you want to broaden your horizons). I can’t say it’s too bad it’s good. I honestly don’t think traditional video game quantifiers work here. This isn’t a 2023 version of the game, it’s a black hole in the middle of it, sucking in light and energy and washing old casts into its void.